


Thus With a Kiss I Die.

by Oswald_Nygmobblepot



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-10 10:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oswald_Nygmobblepot/pseuds/Oswald_Nygmobblepot
Summary: It takes time for one to die of a stab wound to the stomach, hours, if not more. All hope is lost as the city is destroyed around them, and they are left with no one but themselves. (Takes place during the Season 4 Finale)





	1. Chapter 1

She thought she knew fear. Absolute helplessness, terror, the thumping of her heart in her chest from things that may have or may have not posed an actual danger to her. She’d had the same thought before, as everyone did, once they find something more terrifying than the last. The fear of the dark as a child paled in comparison to the fear of junior high exams, which paled in comparison to going to high school, which paled in comparison to graduating, going to college, finding a job. Everyday things than every person went through in their life, and really … The fear she was experiencing now, was no different, if not amplified ten fold. It was something that everyone would face in their life. 

It was her final fear, she knew. The last thing she would be afraid of. After this, there would be no more fear, no more pain, no more worry. No more responsibility. The people of the Narrows would have to go on without her. And she feared that they would crumble and fall. Go back to fighting each other for scraps.

She’d made a difference in the Narrows … No.

They … They had made a difference. Even if Ed didn’t actually care about the people here, even if he was only doing it for her, she wouldn’t have been successful if not for him. Even if that success was only short lived.

This fear that she felt now though … This gripping ache in her chest that hurt more than the knife in her gut … This was far worse than anything she’d ever felt or experienced before, and she wasn’t even sure what she was afraid of.

Was she afraid of dying? Certainly not. It wasn’t so long ago that she’d craved it. Wanted it. In a way, she knew this path she was on was a death sentence … She just hadn’t expected it to end this way.

No, what she was afraid of, was dying alone.

“Ed.” She said quietly, knowing he was still alive. She could hear him breathing, laying on the floor not far from her. It was the only thing really keeping her sane right now. Keeping her from panicking. Knowing that he was there.

“What?” He asked, his voice quietly, shakey as if he were shivering.

“I’m scared.” Lee said, and it was honestly the most vulnerable thing she could have said. And she didn’t care. She was scared, as she was sure he was as well. There was silence between them, nothing but the ticking of the clock breaking the silence, now that the city had gone quiet. They couldn’t even hear sirens anymore. No chaos on the street. No one to come find them. No hospitals even if anyone had. It had been three hours since they’d stabbed each other, and two or more since the shock had worn off. Ed was surprisingly silent through his pain, and it caused her to fight to remain silent as well.

“Me too.” He said quietly after a long silence, as if he'd nodded off. She knew he was struggling to stay awake. Lee swallowed heavily, breathing through the pain. It hurt so much … Like a burning fire in the pit of her stomach that spread through the rest of her like wildfire.

She sat quietly against the desk, keeping her heart above the wound. She didn’t know why. There was no point. Even with the knife inside of her still, and the elevation against the desk, she was still bleeding.

“I don’t want to die alone, Ed.” She said, tears falling down her cheeks. She’d kept herself composed until now, but for what reason she couldn’t fathom. She didn’t feel strong anymore, she didn’t have to be. In a few short hours, or less, they would both be dead. Him likely far before her, since there was nothing stopping his bleeding, and he was doing nothing to keep the wound below his heart.

“I know.” Edward said, his eyes closed. She leaned her head back against the desk, listening to the quiet tick, tick, tick of the clock, and Edward’s calm breathing. She could make it faster, for her. She could remove the knife, lay down next to him. Why didn’t she?

She knew why, in the back of her mind. Hope … As long as they were both still alive, there was hope. Hope that maybe someone would come in … Stop the bleeding. Make this all go away. She banged her head back against the desk. She had no one to blame but herself for this. She shouldn’t have broken up with him, shouldn’t have stabbed him …

She was wrong. He hadn’t been trying to change her … He’d been trying to free her. And it wasn’t until it was too late that she finally saw the truth of the riddle that was Edward Nygma.

“Edward …” She said quietly, shifting slightly against the desk. She was so cold, shivering as she moved to sit up straighter, not even realising that she’d slid down a bit. “I’m so sorry.” She said, shakily lifting her hand to wipe away the tears. “I’m so sorry for this …” She repeated. They should be on their way out of Gotham … Halfway to Bloodhaven by now. “Can you forgive me?” She asked, knowing there was such a slim chance, but if he could … It would at least put her mind at a bit of ease.

She licked her lips as she waited for an answer, but she had a sudden realisation … She could only hear the quiet ticking of the clock. There was no quiet breathing beyond her own. “Ed?” She asked, looking at him, laying on the ground, his hands now laying at his sides, his chest no longer rising and falling and she closed her eyes, tears once again falling.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, banging her head back against the desk. With that lack of movement she felt all hope fade from her. There was no chance of anyone coming in, no one saving the day. Even if she lived … She knew it wouldn’t be for long.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and grasped the handle of the knife. She cried out in pain as she pulled it out, knowing she should have done it a long time ago.

She dropped the knife to the ground with a loud clatter and stared at it, her hands and the knife both sticky with blood, the red oozing through the material of her shirt now that the knife had been removed. It would be over soon …

She painfully pushed herself away from the desk, her head swimming from the pain. No … She couldn’t die over here. Not here. She pushed herself forward onto her stomach, ignoring the pain as she pulled herself weakly forward towards Ed. She pushed his arm to the side, laid down beside him as she had last night just before they’d gone to bed.

She looked up at him, her tears falling onto the green material of his jacket. “I’m so sorry.” She said, knowing there really wasn’t anything to say that could make this better, make this go away. Nothing she could do to turn back time and do this over again.

She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips, her tears sliding down her nose onto his cheek before she took a deep shaking breath, and laid down beside him, her head resting on his shoulder, her hand over his heart which had already stilled moments ago.

It wouldn’t be long now … Within the hour, she’d see him again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is optional - if you want to just read chapter one as a one shot!

Lee groaned as she awoke, stretching out on the soft sheets, her hand shifting over to the side of the bed to find it empty, the soft material cool to the touch, the blanket turned down. “Ed?” She asked, looking around the sun lit room. She could smell waffles wafting through the house, cinnamon to be precise, and it instantly put her mind at ease.

She smiled slightly as she turned onto her side, her hand moving under the pillow, her eyes drifting closed again. He would wake her up when breakfast was ready. He always did.

“Mummy.” Lee opened her eyes and looked at the little girl clinging to the side of the bed. “Morning mummy.” She said, climbing up onto the bed, pushing up her glasses on her little nose. Lee looked at her with a bit of confusion. She didn’t know this girl, yet … She called her mummy? It couldn’t be the child she had with Jim. They’d lost her what felt like a lifetime ago. This child though … she felt a sense of familiarity and a motherly protectiveness towards her.

“Emily.” She said, smiling, the name coming to her easily. The little girl smiled down at her as she sat cross legged on the bed in her blue My Little Pony pajamas.

“It’s okay … Daddy said you’d be a bit confused. You had an accident.” She said. “But everything is okay now, because you’re up. And waffles are ready, so we can go eat!” She said bouncing slightly on the bed before climbing down and running out of the room.

Lee smiled as she climbed out of bed, wearing a pair of Ed’s pajamas that she didn’t remember putting on the night before. She felt more relaxed than she had in a long time.

She moved through the hall and down the stairs, her hand moving over the wooden banister of the stairs that lead directly into the kitchen.

Emily was sitting at a chair at the table, Edward at the kitchen counter, plates clattering as he pulled them down from the cupboard, an apron around his waist.

“You’re awake.” He said with a broad smile. “I thought you’d be sleeping all day. It’s late.”

“You slept a long time mummy.” Emily said as Ed placed a few waffles onto a plate and placed them on the table in front of her. “You promised strawberries and whipped cream!” She said, absolutely insulted that he would forget.

“So I did.” He said, poking her on the nose before going to get her some strawberries and whipped cream as promised. *beep*

Lee looked around the house, wondering where the noise had come from, it came so suddenly, and it was rather loud. As if it were right next to her, but there was nothing that could have made that noise.

“Mummy!” She looked to Emily who was beconning her over. She smiled as she came over to the table. *beep*

“Do you hear that?” Lee asked, as Edward came back over to the table with two plates in one hand, and another with a stack of waffles in the other.

“Hear what?” He asked confused. Lee looked around a moment before she shook her head.

“Never mind.” She said quietly as she sat at the table and pulled a few waffles onto her plate and poured some syrup onto them. “How you doing in school?” Lee asked, looking down at Emily.

“Good. All A’s across the board. As if you could expect anything different.” She said smugly, a wide, proud grin on her face.

“Oh, that’s your dad’s narcissism I see.” She said, poking her in the belly and making her laugh. *beep*

Lee looked around again. “Okay, seriously, you don’t hear that?”

“Hear what, mummy?” Emily asked, looking up at her with concern.

“That beeping.” She said, looking around.

“It’s nothing.” Edward said, staring down at his plate, his glasses sliding a bit down his nose. “You should eat before it gets cold.” He said as a knock came. She glanced at the door and looked at Ed who seemed to be ignoring it, fully focused on his food.

“Edward. There’s someone at the door, are we expecting anyone?” She asked.

“There’s no one at the door, Lee.” He said, looking up at her. The knock came again, followed by a loud crash and yelling from outside, though she couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Someone’s out there.” She said, going to stand up. She stopped when Ed’s hand tightly gripped her wrist. “Ow, Edward. Let me go.”

“There’s no one there.” He said firmly, “Just eat your breakfast.”

*beep beep* Lee looked around again in confusion. Something was very wrong. She pulled her wrist out of Ed’s grasp and looked to the door again as the knock came again.

“We should answer that.” She said, going to the hall and felt Ed’s hand on her wrist again, though not as tightly.

“No.” Edward said. “Don’t go there. Stay here, with us.” He said and Emily came up behind him.

“Don’t leave us Mummy.” She said, her eyes tearing up as the beeping started to become more frequent, the smell of cinnamon getting stronger even though she was walking away from the breakfast table.

“I don’t want to. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to answer the door.” She said.

“Don’t … Please.” Edward said, both of them begging her to not answer the door.

She said nothing as she heard plates clanking, but no one was in the kitchen. They were all here, and the sound was so faint.

“This isn’t right …” Lee said, closing her eyes. “This isn’t …” she shook her head as she forced herself to turn from Edward and Emily and move towards the door.

“You killed me.” Edward said suddenly, making her pause. “You killed us both.” She stood frozen on the spot before she turned around, seeing Edward standing in the hall, blood oozing through the material of his shirt, a small bundle in his arms, Emily hiding behind them both.

“No … I didn’t kill her.” She said, shaking her head.

“You knew the risks of travel while you were that far along …” He said. “Had you stayed in Gotham she would still be alive.” He said, walking up to her and shoving the bundle into her arms. She looked down to see the small infant, too small even to be considered a newborn, still, unmoving, pale almost blue in colour. She closed her eyes and looked away from her. “You didn’t even name her.” He said accusingly.

“I couldn’t …” She said, shaking her head.

“You failed her … And now you’re going to fail her too.” He said, pointing at Emily. “You’re just going to leave her? Us?!” He asked, blood oozing from his stomach to the ground, pooling around him.

“No … I …” The beeping was getting louder, more clear, more steady. And she understood. This wasn’t real. None of this was. Still, she couldn’t help the strong connection she felt with the girl, and with him, and she was compelled forward, the bundle falling to the floor in a heap of empty blankets. “Her death was not my fault. Yours was …” She said, moving towards him, watching as the wound on his stomach faded away and she wished it had been that simple in real life. She felt the pain of loss come over her as she remembered everything. She’d stabbed him … and he’d stabbed her, and he’d died. “I’m so sorry.” She said, moving closer to him and hugging him, her eyes closed. “But I have to go.” She ignored Emily who was screaming at her to stay as she reached the door handle of the front door.

 

—

 

Lee slowly opened her eyes, the beeping clear and constant, a steady rhythm near her head from a machine that was hooked up to her. She looked up to see the heart monitor that had been filtering into her subconscious sitting next to the bed she was laying on, the sheets just as soft as they were in her dream.

Was it a dream? It felt so real. It had to have been. She closed her eyes as she let her head fall back against the pillow again before she looked around the room. It was a large room, with wooden walls, large windows will elegant drapery, the bed she lay in a four poster bed with curtains pinned back to each post. She looked beside her and closed her eyes, the spot next to her was empty, the blankets neatly made and tucked into the mattress on the other side.

She felt her eyes water as she raised her hands to her face. She’d lived … Somehow she’d lived, and she had to live with the fact that Edward did not.

She forced herself to stay calm as she sat up on the bed. She had to assess her situation. Gain her bearings, figure out how long she’d been out for, and exactly where she was.

By the style of the house it almost reminded her of Wayne Manor, though older and a bit more gothic in it’s design. Falcone’s? Perhaps, but she doubted it.

She glanced over at the side table and spotted a plate with waffles on it, speckled with cinnamon. At least that explained why the smell had been so prominent in her dream. She reached a hand forward and touched one of the waffles, the food still hot. Someone had been here recently.

She looked up in a panic as she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She had no idea who this person was, and while they’d saved her life, she couldn’t trust that they hadn’t any ill intentions.

She grasped the butter knife from off the plate as the door opened. She looked confused as Oswald Cobblepot came in, pausing briefly in the doorway as he saw the glimmer of the knife in her hand.

“Are you planning on buttering me to death?” He asked, hobbling over to her side of the bed, a bottle of syrup in his hand. “I thought you might be hungry.” He said. “I figured you would be awake soon.”

“What do you want?” She asked, making Oswald’s eyebrows raise.

“Right now? I’d like you to eat, it’s been a while since you’ve had anything.” He said. “There’s only so much a drip can do, though you’re a doctor so I suppose you know that.” He said, tilting his head to the side. “Really, I’m not going to do anything to you. If I wanted you dead I would have left you in a pool of blood in your little hideout.”

“I don’t want to eat.” She said, tossing the knife onto the plate. “You should have just let me die.” She said turning away from him.

“That’s a very negative way to think.” He said. “I think a few people would miss you.”

“No one would miss me.” Lee said. At least, no one of importance.

“Edward would.” Oswald said, making Lee turn to him.

“Edward is dead.” Lee said. Though Oswald would know that, if he actually was the one that found them. Then again, perhaps it was his goons that found her, and brought her in to nurse back to health and they hadn’t told Oswald.

“Really?” Oswald asked, “So I suppose the guy I just had breakfast with is another guy with overly large glasses and a penchant for riddles and the colour green.”

“He’s … Alive?” Lee asked, her voice shaking slightly as she looked up at Oswald’s bright green eyes.

“He’s downstairs.” Oswald said, his hands going up to stop her as she got up, ripping the IV from her hand. She groaned as she pulled it the rest of the way out, blood oozing down her hand but she didn’t care. “Wait, you should take it easy.” He said but she was already out the door and halfway down the stairs, her feet not carrying her fast enough as she moved through the house into the living room which was empty, and then into dining room to see him look up at her in surprise.

“Ed!” She said, moving around the table.

“Lee. You’re awake.” He said standing up as she ran to him her arms thrown around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” She said, tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologise for, Lee.” Ed said, looking down at her curiously.

“I stabbed you.” She said looking up at him.

“You did.”

“You died.”

“I did.” He said, and she looked down at the floor. “As did you.” She looked up at him. “Hugo Strange brought us back.” He said, leading her to sit down at the table, and taking a napkin from the holder in the middle of the table when he saw her bleeding hand. He placed it against the wound and held it there.

“How long?” She asked, after a brief silence as she processed all this information. She’d died. They’d both did.

“Eight months.” He said. “I just woke up last night. How are you feeling?”

“Confused, dazed …”

“I meant physically.” He said, clarifying his question. The rest they could deal with together. Truth be told he still felt a bit confused and dazed himself and he’d already been awake for over 12 hours, even though he slept almost nine hour of it, at least he could dream.

“Strange. I mean … Weird.” She said. “I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels …”

“Unnatural?” Edward supplied as she looked up at him again. She nodded.

“Yes.” This was yet another thing that Edward understood. Something she could talk to him about and no one else. “We killed each other.” She said, as if processing that information for the first time.

“We did.” He said.

“It’s very … Romeo and Juliet.” Lee said making him smile.

“Or Antony and Cleopatra.” Edward said, pulling the napkin away from her hand to see that the bleeding had stopped.

“I’m so sorry, Edward.” She said softly. “I made a mistake.”

“No you didn’t.” He said, making her look up at him again. “You had every right to stab me when you did, if anything, I’m proud of you for doing it.” Before she could say anything, he continued. “When you said it was the end of the road for us … I had every intention of killing you, depending on how the conversation played out. I was mad, I’ll admit it, I’m not proud of it. You saw it coming, and you were right. I probably would have killed you eventually.”

“Would have?” Lee asked, confused.

“Yes, would have.” He said. “There’s a large difference between you and Kristen … She was weak.”

“Edward-”

“No, listen. She was. I’m sorry. She put up with an abusive boyfriend, allowed people to walk all over her, and did everything for others just to make them happy while receiving nothing in return. I don’t agree with anything that’s happened to her … And it’s not her fault. But she wasn’t a strong person. She was like how I used to be …” He said. “But you … You’re not like that. You’re strong, and independent, and you wouldn’t put up with shit from anyone. You stand up for yourself, and I could never bring myself to break that.”

Lee looked away from him, not really knowing how she felt about this. “I regret killing her, I always have … As soon as I did it. I didn’t even realise I did until it was too late. I just didn’t want her to leave, not yet. I wanted her to understand. I didn’t realise what I was doing at the time, I was panicking.”

“That’s no excuse.”

“It’s not … But what happened between us … I realised that even if I had wanted to, I wouldn’t be able to kill you. You’re too strong of a woman Lee. I respect that, and I love that. And I know you don’t love me back but I still-”

“I do love you.” Lee said causing Edward to look up at her.

“Lee, don’t-”

“I do …” She said. “I realised it … I wanted to say it. When we were still-” She paused, not wanting to say the words. “You’d died already. I tried to apologise, and I wanted to tell you but … You were gone already.”

They sat in silence for a moment, both wondering what to do. “So … Where does this leave us now?” Edward asked.

“I’d like for us to stay together … Ideally.” She said. “I don’t want to leave you again.” She said, a smile coming to his face.

“Alright.” He said, looking far too smug which only made her smile.

“And don’t you ever make me stab you again!” She said hitting him in the stomach. “I’m not watching you die again!” She said, honestly feeling for more relaxed than she had in a long time. Comfortable even. She’d gone into this knowing she was only manipulating him, and had, in fact, wound up falling in love with him.

Though to be honest, this was Gotham … And who knew how long that would last.


End file.
